Ruminating

Wondering what is blog worthy? Is blogging really just a self-centered "Hey I've got stuff to say and hope that others think its important"?

It seems like such a magnificent platform, and a wonderful way to make new connections. But since yesterday I've thought, "What is really my motive?" I'm not sure I know the answer to that myself. I do want to share myself with others, but do I really want to share with strangers? I did the livejournal thing for a short period, and that felt so vulnerable.

How vulnerable, though, can we really be through words on a computer screen? I'm wondering about the psychology behind the blogging, I suppose. Technology is so double-edged. On the one hand, it does bring billions of people together that would otherwise not be so. On the other hand, there is such a de-personalization that comes with a keyboard and a monitor. Of course, the more technically well-versed will have webcams and voice features and all that, but most of the people I know don't have or couldn't afford such gadgets.

My advice to "my girls", now forever immortalized on the blog

So I'm sitting at my desk with the picture I swiped from Cyndi's myspace page (I am so glad I requested that photo! You're dad thinks you're his, but, really, you're mine!) and thinking about you and your lives, your futures, etc. So I decided to send a wiser older aunt (really, we're cousins, right? aunt makes me feel old) email that, hopefully, you will remember, or at least refer to from time to time on your collective journeys.

My advice:

1) All women are crazy to some degree. You are no exception.

2) The disease of addiction runs in our family. Do what you will, but be careful of what and how much. If you ever think you have a problem, I would hope you come to me, as I have been down that road. I would never judge you, no matter what you did. I remind you of this #2 occasionally only because I care about you, and I would never want you to go where I have been. But even if you do, I will never turn you away.

3) If you are given the opportunity to do anything bold, daring, or unusual (for example, sky-diving, travelling to a foreign country, being exposed to some culture not your own, reciting poetry in front of a large audience), as long as you are safe, DO IT. It is likely the opportunity will not come again.

4) Live your life in a way that serves god (goddess, Buddah, Allah, whatever you believe in) first, yourself second, and others third. Always.

5) When you are in a relationship, make the same decisions for yourself that you would make if you were single. (For example, going to school, pursuing a particular career, etc.) Never take on other people's opinions as your own reality.

6) Be kind, but don't be a doormat.

7) Learn as much as you can as early as you can about what it means to have healthy boundaries, and know the difference between selfishness and self-care.

8) You can do and accomplish anything that men can, and some things you can even do better!

9) Never give yourself to someone entirely, keep a little piece just for you.

10) A life without some kind of faith in something is not really a life.

11) 90% of what goes on around you is really none of your business.

12) Be aware that your actions and words constantly affect other people, even when you don't notice. Live, speak, and behave responsibly.

13) Angels walk among us, learn to recognize them.

14) Love is never wrong, even when it doesn't have the outcome we desired. But know the difference between love, lust, and infatuation.

15) True intimacy has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

16) A positive attitude really does make a lot of difference. (I only learned that within the last couple of years.)

17) The only thing that's really the end of the world is the end of the world.

18) To thine ownself be true. Still the best Shakesperian quote ever.

19) Family is more important than you will ever know. Love the people who gave you life, even when you don't agree with them.

20) The important things in life are not things. Money, property, and prestige will never compare to love, peace of mind, and spirituality.

OK. I have to go back to work now. I am so glad that we have been able to connect like this since the reunion. I will not let that change again. Have an awesome weekend and I love you both!! ~K.

Friendship - The Driveway/Porch Analogy

I have been using this analogy endlessly. And I am a very visual person, so it helps me to picture things in my mind to adjust my own perspective.

Someone shared this with me not long ago: In your life, there are many people hanging out on the driveway. Some of them you will invite up to hang out on the front porch. Even less of them you will allow into your home, the living room, or maybe the kitchen. And once in a great while, you will invite one into your bedroom. But the truth is, most people are hanging out on the driveway.

Who's in your living room? I think those of you in mine know who you are. ~K.

Time to do so already

So here's my update.

I am happier than I have been in a very long time, and I am not sure how or why that has happened, only that it has. I think my current contentedness is part program, part universal influence, part profound personality change, and the rest the result of a higher power and all the love I have present in my life today.

Many of you know I lost someone I loved desperately earlier this year, then lost a job that I loved almost obsessively a couple months ago. Yet, somehow, here I am. I think my experiences this year have simply proven that just when I think I know what the plan is, the Planner shows me otherwise!!

Now that there is a way for me to talk to nearly everyone I know all at once, I have only one question: How can I help you? For attempting to live my life in the service of others is something that I am quite sure has contributed to leading me to where I am, and the modicum of peace I have right now. (There was probably a less complicated way to construct that sentence but it escaped me.)

~K.

Welcome me, welcome you

Thanks to Kimberlie for her inspiring stories and tempting me to create a blog while I am at work and on company time. It is a good way to throw my thoughts out there before I've said incredibly inappropriate things to inappropriate people. Plus I am always looking to know and learn things from as many people as humanly possible.

I actually DO have work to do, but I will be back. I think this will be incredible fun and is probably being placed before me at just the right time.

Love & Light, K.